The Secret

I am really  happy & fulfilled in my marriage.

But the thing is... it hasn't always been easy.

I want to tell Bogdan that: "Thank you. Thank you for choosing THIS life. Life with me. Kids with me. Mess with me. All of it. Thank you.

Thank you for choosing me back when it was harder. Thanks for sticking with me."

The thing about marriage is that at any moment either one can just check out. Or just choose a different life all together. So, in a way, everyday is a choice. Today I choose you. THIS life. These kids and this house.

I have been married to  Bogdan for 15 years.

15 years and we have changed so much. 15 years in which we both changed and grew and understood each other better. Just getting better and better. Easier or harder along the way. We are still learning and growing and changing. Still balancing work, kids, and finding time to connect day after day. Communication is very importnat. I have to admit that sometimes we have lost the connection. But we regain it and we try to be aware of the moments we lose it.

Some friends asked me lately what is the secret of our marriage, how we can be so close after so many years, three kids and well… a life behind. Ruth Bell Graham told it better than me: “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” Two good forgivers that love each other so much and so deeply, this is my opinion. So, this is the SECRET: to love and to be loved. And to forgive.

I thought (before marriage) that when I got married I would no longer be so easy to hurt. That I will feel more secure and safe. It took me a long way to discover that the strenght was in me alt this time, that has nothing to do with anybody else, that I am the only one who can stand up for myself.

I have since learned that no matter how many times he tells me what I want to hear, the answer is within me. Meaning that I have to love myself. To trust myself. To be myself. He can't do it for me.

I am thankful for him. 

Thankful that we chose eachother. Thankful for THIS life. 

This life with him by my side.
Thankful for the hard times he chose me. This life. Our life.

Because I know what I chose.