marți, 22 februarie 2011

The Car in the Fog

10 years ago I gave birth to my eldest daughter, Runa. At the time, I was concerned about what kind of mother I will be and which mistakes I will unconsciously make. I was afraid of being like my mother. I was afraid that I won't be able to show her my love. It was difficult for me to recognize the signs of depression, now I know that all those fears came from that. 

Gathering all my courage, because here you usually don't ask for this kind of help, I went to see a psychotherapist, and my fear was dissipated in the first 10 minutes I spent with her.

She taught me to face my fears, to trust my instincts, to understand my dreams. To see what is important for me and my family. To stop listening to malicious people and head onto my way. To face the reactions to my own actions.

I became more grateful for what life has in its pockets for me. Now I wake up every morning with that feeling of gratitude. 

I thank God for my life, for my children, for my amazing man, for my gorgeous few friends.

And every time I feel like heading in the fog, I remember I am a part of a bigger plan and the sunshine will come to fill my life again. One way or another.

3 comentarii:

ella@lifeologia spunea...

Beautiful I was in that dark phase myself. I got ill with mysterious symptoms when my daughter was 4 months old - and my doctors only saw that it's depression and I went through a hard time for over 1 1/2 years undiagnosed. Eventually I got the diagnosis that it's a rare illness which has no treatment. It was (and still is) a struggle at times - but I don't fight it anymore and just let it be - and remind myself that the sun will shine again....
like you.
It's also interesting how older generations were taught that it's wrong to show affection. My mom is the same way - never ever says I love you first and I always pull her into my arms and give her a hug ;)

The Fairy's Apprentice spunea...

Thank you, Ella! I read about your fighting and I think you chose the right approach, just like I think I did myself. There are other important things to take care of, beyond complaining and feeling pity for ourselves :).

Kellie Collis spunea...

The view is stunning! Have a beautiful day, Kellie xx